Today is quite a different tune. 20th Century Fox has sank to an epic, infamous low. It's come as close to a complete pile of failure as any other major film studio probably will ever come. They can struggle to push out a good movie now and again. This year's Best Picture winner, Slumdog Millionaire, came from Fox Searchlight (I'm still debating whether that should be in the same category, but since the word FOX is there, we'll say sure). Also, 28 Days Later, one of the absolute best apocalyptic horror films ever, came from the studio. However, nowadays it's either the very rare grand slam of a movie or the complete swing-and-a-miss, ball hasn't left the pitcher's glove yet, fall flat on their asses piece of shit. There's no middle ground.
The only possible thing that I can think of as to why this studio has turned into the turd factory it is today is because of the all mighty dollar. Four movies that held personal interest to me have suffered horrific fates at the hands of these money grubbing bastards:
Case 1: Alien vs Predator and Alien vs Predator: Requiem
Only one thing has ever been more personable to me than these two sacks of crap, and that was Terminator 3, but that rant is for another day. Anywho, AvP could have been brilliant with the right creative minds put together. I mean, it's ALIEN VS PREDATOR! This should have been f*cking beyond awesome, but a little bird named Fox went ahead and said, "You know what would make this great? Defying all logic and making it a PG-13 movie so we can bring in millions!" Every instalment of both franchises was rated R because they were violent, awesomefests that didn't give a damn about whether a 13 year old kid could throw down his money on them. But Fox had to have more, and the film suffered because of that. Terrible movie. Fox tried to make up for that with the sequel by bumping the rating up and trying to be more EXTREME. Fail. AvPR was just as shitty and gave just as big of a slap in the face to the originals as the first one did. You broke my heart Fox, but it wouldn't be the last time...
Case 2: Live Free or Die Hard
First of all, what the f*ck kind of name is that for a Die Hard movie? The real John McClane would shoot you for even suggesting that crap, but where is the real guy you ask? Oh, that's right, he left with the R rating. I was in a damn fit for weeks when I heard that this was rated PG-13. YOU DON'T CUT DOWN DIE HARD! How the hell is McClane supposed to curse at bad guys while killing them and say his infamous line in front of a bunch of kids!? The film could have been much worse, but it felt far from a real Die Hard film. Heart broken x 2 now...
Case 3: Hitman
You couldn't imagine how excited I was to hear about an adaptation of the crazy awesome game series. Oh, how young and ignorant I was, for I should have known that sadness was inevitable when I saw that Fox was behind it. They could not have ravaged this film any more. They screwed up the origin story, they cast the titular character wrong, the overall tone of the story was off, etc, etc. Throw in some plot holes and some genuine WTF? moments for good measure and you have yourself one of the worst reviewed films of the year (15% on Rotten Tomatoes). Nice one Fox.
Case 4: X-Men Origins: Wolverine
I've grown up since my days of watching cartoons every afternoon, but had you told me that you were going to ruin the X-Men for me back then, I might have killed you. I loved X-Men probably more than any other comic book characters. The film adaptations have been some of the exceptions in Fox's reign of sub-mediocrity. X-Men, great film, had no complaints. X2: X-Men United, LOVED it, took what worked from the first and took it to a whole new level of badassery. That's where Good Street turned into Crap Road which merges into Garbage Water Blvd. X-Men: The Last Stand was pretty bad. Bret Ratner tried to make it his own thing instead of sticking to what made the first two great films. Then, just last night to be exact, came Origins: Wolverine. A turd wrapped with moldy bread, my friends. This film has ruined the X-Men. Hugh Jackman must have needed groceries the week he signed on for this because he surely had to know that this piece of trash was far below the standards set by the first two films. The story is just a complete mess that does anything but make you want to know more about where Wolverine came from. Special effects and my favorite X-Man, Gambit, couldn't save this film if they tried. It's a shame too, because Gambit is such a badass that he should have had an established place in the first two.
So, even if you aren't a big nerd disguised as a sexy, heartthrob like myself, you've surely seen a movie from 20th Century Fox that has made you cringe, whether it be a complete failure such as Epic Movie, the many bowls of diarrhea starring Eddie Murphy, or the laughably horrendous The Happening. Hopefully, in the near future, there will be some new brass in the offices of Fox that can bring us more than just two to three good movies tops a year. It's a long shot, but if you stop dreamin' it's time to die.
*Note- For those wondering how I managed to view Origins: Wolverine an entire month before its theatrical release, I can honestly tell you that it involved a completely LEGAL use of the Internet and in no way whatsoever involved any illegal downloading of copyrighted material. Not that I was going to give away $10 on this movie in the first place when it hit theaters. That is all.
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